Herenigd met een oude liefde

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229 comments

Uit het oog maar niet uit het hart

Volgens de kalender zijn de eerste drie maanden van dit jaar alweer verstreken en gezien ik minder heb geschreven dan ik initieel voor ogen had leek dit me een mooie gelegenheid de pen weer eens op te pakken. En laat dat nou precies nèt niet het enige zijn dat ik recent opnieuw heb opgepakt.

We gaan terug naar het jaar 2000. Het jaar waarin ik mij scheel dronk aan pakjes Taksi Tropical zodat ik zakken vol afgeknipte oren naar het hoofdkantoor kon sturen. In ruil daarvoor kon ik kiezen uit een hele reeks Taksi-jungle-merchandise zoals een zaklamp, een hangmat en allerbelangrijkst; een fototoestel. Bij dat kekke knalgele cameraatje kreeg je framepjes die je tijdens het inladen van het rolletje achter de lens kon plaatsen zodat je foto’s voorzien werden van een tropisch groen of een gezellig ‘groetjes uit de jungle’.1 Wat ik daar als 11-jarige al met al van vond? Magie.

Twee jaar later werd het veelvuldig gebruikte cameraatje geüpgrade door een variant die in plaats van een 35mm rolletje om vier AA-batterijen en een geheugenkaartje vroeg. De opvolger daarvan werd mijn eerste spiegelreflex-camera, en toen tegen het einde van de middelbare school-tijd de boel in elkaar klikte en ik aan alles voelde fotograaf te willen worden keek niemand daar echt raar van op. “Dat wisten wij dus echt allang”.

Tijdens studies aan de Amsterdamse Fotovakschool en Haagse Kunstacademie volgden nog heel wat camera-upgrades met op een mooie dag zélfs een analoge Hasseblad. Ik leerde mijn eigen film ontwikkelen en bracht liefst dagen door in doka’s maar eenmaal afgestudeerd begon mijn loopbaan in een digitale tijd. De digitalisering ging vliegensvlug en ik zag de algehele kijk op fotografie veranderen van een delicate ambacht naar een vluchtig trucje vanaf je telefoon. In rap tempo werden rolletjes kostbaar slash minder rendabel, en zo2 verloor ik mijn grote liefde langzaam uit het oog.

Fastforward naar dit jaars aller-eerste dag, waarop ik al nieuwjaarsdansend mezelf opeens al fotograferend voor me zag. Een serie strakke compostities met knappe kleurcombinaties en lekker lichtval drong zich achter mijn ogen aan me op. Mijn hart ging niet alleen open maar vooral ook sneller kloppen en alles in mij vroeg zich af “hoe het eigenlijk met die analoge liefde was”.

Zodra ik kon sloot ik de Hasselblad in mijn armen én startte ik een uitzoektocht. Een route langs ontwikkellabs en foto-zaken, langs thuiskomen en herontdekken, van soms best overweldigd raken3 tot vaak ook echt ontroert. Ik keek ogen uit, vroeg oren van hoofden en vond niets minder dan een nieuwe vlam. Eentje die ik hele dagen fluitend vol schiet4 met gemeten, gekaderd en gevangen lievelings-licht.

Het bleek allemaal de aftrap van iets dat zich heeft mogen ontvouwen tot opnieuw verliefd worden op dit fantastische fenomeen. Tot over mijn óren op de ambacht.
Want eerlijk, het is toch ook magie?

1

Ik had natuurlijk niets liever gedaan dan een greep van die geweldige plaatjes te delen, echter heb ik de albums en harde schijven met beeldmateriaal uit die tijd niet meegenomen op mijn reizen met Villa Vagabond. Wie weet kom ik er op een mooie dag nog eens op terug 🌴

2

Naast de nadelen van digitalisering waren regelmatig voorbij komende (ongetwijfeld goedbedoelde) opmerkingen van dit soort ook aardig ontmoedigend. Hou je dan maar eens staande als jonge fotografe in spé 😶

3

Door keuzestress bijvoorbeeld, tijdens het zoeken naar het gewenste type film 🎞️🧡

4

Rekensom ter illustratie: 
– in een middenformaatcamera zoals een Hasselblad gaat 120 film, waarop je 12 foto’s kunt schieten. Voor zo’n rolletje betaal je €18 euro = €1,50 per foto.
– in een kleinbeeldcamera gaat 35mm film, waarop je 36 foto’s kunt schieten voor omgerekend €0,55 per stuk ✨

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